How did the giraffe get his long neck.
One day there was a giraffe with the most beautiful dots in the world he loved everything about him especially his short and shiney neck. Life was good for him but sometimes he had problems. He couldn't eat very much because most things grew on trees and his most favorite fruit was red,crunchy apples but those grew on trees too.
The next day he decided to wake up early and for a walk. While he was walking he thought to himself “I wonder what it would be like to have a longer neck”He carried on walking when suddenly he heard the sound of breaking branches he turned his head sharply trying to find the source of the commotion.He couldn't see anything or anyone so he bravely tramped in the in the direction that he heard the sound .
As he was walking he heard the sound again he walked faster and faster and soon his walk turned in to a sprint he tripped on a rock and fell on his four knees and his head hit the hard, compact ground. He became unconscious for some hours. As his vision cleared he noticed his head wedged between two rock’s he tried to wriggle his head out of the two rocks but the more he wriggled the more it got tight he gave up after afew minutes and tried yelling out for help. Luckily there was a herd of enormous african elephants nearby they walked over and saw him in pickled position.They all wrapped there trunks around his body and pulled and pulled and eventually his head slipped out from between the rocks, he stood up,and for a second he thought he was a bird but looked down and saw his feet,he freaked out but then thought to himself my wish came true.And so from that day on he ate 50 apples a day.
And that's how the giraffe go his long neck
Justus you have done such a great job with this piece of writing. It's great to see you incorporating double adjectives "...hard, compact ground." This really helps paint a picture in your readers minds. I also like love the line"..for a second he thought he was a bird..." It's this kind of detail that engages your readers. Keep it up Justus!
ReplyDeleteWow J, great writing! I love that you've used lots of describing words. I could visualise in my head what was happening as I was reading. It almost made me believe that really was how giraffe's got their long necks.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up
Love from Miss Lavakula
Hi miss Lavakula thank you for you feed back I hope your having a grate day god bless
Deletelove justus
Hi miss Lavakula thank you for your feed back I hope your having a grate day god bless \
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